Feb. 07, 2003 - 1:23 p.m.
Pay attention to me now!
Yes, I know I am self-absorbed. It happens when I don't get the attention I crave, the attention I need. When your focus is elsewhere, I don't exist.
Don't you understand? I live only in your mind. The power I have is the power you give to me. You want to see a laughing, dancing sprite? Then you need to sacrifice time and effort, love and devotion to my cause.
You need to build me up or I crumble.
When no one is here to see me, I fade out. I am merely a flame, and you, the oxygen that feeds me.
How can I get you to understand? This is life. We must feed to grow. We must feed to live. Without this, I am diminished, a form walking around without a soul, a body without life or energy or beauty. Without your worship, I am a corpse.
Yes, I am self absorbed. The only life I know is the one that involves me holding on to the shattered pieces of myself when you turn your back and walk away. My existence is so transient and fragile; yes, it occupies my every waking moment. It invades my dreams while I sleep.
How can I concern myself with the events of other's lives when just hanging on to this one is precarious at best? The power and allure of a godess without worshippers is a sad, broken thing.
I am offering you the world and can fulfill every last desire, but you must hold to the bargain. If you give everything to me, you will have everything in return.
Or else throw an orchid on my grave.
