Feb. 18, 2003 - 12:51 a.m.
Horoscopes? How accurate can they possibly be?
Joyce Jillson's description of a Gemini:
Gemini
The attractive, super-intelligent Gemini leads a double life,
because two lives are more exciting than one (quantity over quality)
which has its good and bad points.
Define bad.
With thousands of ideas and projects on the table,
(far too many to actually handle)
Gemini's attempts to do them all could be described as either "versatile" or "flighty."
Um, flighty is more like it.
Those born under this sign have a great sense of humor
because we drink alot
and are great drinking buddies,
practice makes perfect
because they've mastered the art of conversation.
Or maybe, they are just so drunk, they think they have. It's a damn good theory, ya know?
Don't expect much loyalty from them, though,
Sure, we're loyal...loyal to number one, that is.
especially if you're in a relationship with one.
Gemini's can have relationships? I mean ones that actually work? GASP! How come no one let me in on this little secret? Damnit, I'm always the last to know!
The Gemini's needs supercede those of everyone around them.
Well, they don't call me self-absorbed for nothing.
This doesn't mean that they're unfeeling monsters.
Define monsters.
They may be generous in some ways, trying to "save the whales"
(or the monsters)
or take on other causes, as long as they don't impede the Gemini's self-interests.
Well, if you are one of the monsters, wouldn't that make it in your best interest to save them?
Geminis can succeed in just about anything they set their minds to
until apathy sets in
and have an affinity for artistic pursuits.
as long as it doesn't take much effort or time or costs too much money or cuts into my marathon sitting and gazing at blank walls session
When they are in ruts, Geminis become a bundle of nerves.
Can you say, "melodramatic"?
Actually, after much consideration, I think horoscopes are a load of crap. I mean she didn't even mention my name once. There was a long list of celebrities after this excerpt, but I wasn't included!
Grrrr. You know what I'm going to do...Hey! Is that the phone?
OH MY FUCKING GOD! I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CALLS HERE!
Oh, well, I have to go. Got that church bulletin to finish typing and the sewing project for Mardi Gras as well as my SAVE THE VAMPIRE calling cards I promised to run off on my copy machine.
Do you think it's too early to make the kid's breakfast?
BTW, if you buy into all this stuff, you can go here to read Joyce Jillson's predictions: http://channels.netscape.com/ns/atplay/gemini.jsp
