Feb. 20, 2003 - 1:31 a.m.
When I close my eyes
Haunted dreams return.
Ghosts flit through the landscape
As memories burn.
I feel as if you're here
But I can't discern
Who you are.
Stuck on the tip of my tongue
Is your name,
But I cannot make that last leap
To my eternal shame.
Alas, I am the only one
I can think to blame,
And I need more.
I need my mind back again.
I need to be whole.
I need to remember;
Shake this weakness; be bold.
I need life and you and love.
I need to be told,
"It's not so far."
Can't you see this consumes me:
This terrible need.
These quick, flickering glimpses
Are just like a seed.
Growing and changing, taking me over,
They'll soon breed
A crop of scars.
So, I settle for insomnia,
My body always sore.
I trade sanity and reason
For a glimpse behind closed doors.
But you're always a step ahead of me,
I never can be sure
If it's really worth the effort
To search forevermore.
