Apr. 20, 2003 - 8:26 p.m.
It has been a very long time since I've been alone, and yet these lonely voices call out to me for advice or support or some sort of sympathy. They can't possibly understand that theirs is a lot that can at times be envied. They can't seem to see past the angst and the heart ache.
Companionship is not the answer to every pain. There is no way to transform one's life permanently through another person. I truly believe any contentment or happiness is derived from inside oneself, and is not a gift to be handed over from a loved one.
Yes, it is a wonderful thing to be able to share your life with another, but if you have nothing to share, what would entice anyone to join their path with yours? There needs to be a level of confidence and security within yourself to be able to have a healthy relationship, any kind of relationship actually. The only thing a shattered soul has to offer is pain.
The reason I surround myself with great minds and confident achievers and unique individuals is because I recognize the same aspects in myself. We have a basis for communication and respect for one another. They must also recognize the same zest for life or boundless curiosity or appreciation of art and beauty and intelligence within me, or else they would seek companionship elsewhere.
But even with all these wonderful qualities and fabulous minds and phenomenal support, the most meaningful experiences of my life have been solo endeavors. I adore my friends and family, but they are no substitute for the characteristics and ingredients that make me unique and special.
I think it boils down to this: I love myself, and therein lies the key that unlocks the door for others to be able to love me also.
