Jun. 28, 2004 - 11:59 a.m.
Another year older.
I think I blew away my family and friends this year. Instead of my usual wild, raucous celebration, I toned things down quite a bit.
Did the whole annual party at my house. And SURPRISE! my house was not only clean, it was fucking immaculate. Plus we again surprised the hordes of birthday wishers by serving exotic foods on matching plates.
My parents are still quite freaked by the whole incident. I finally had an "adult" party.
They would have been REALLY shocked to see me the following day. The house was still clean, and I invited my best friend over to watch chick flicks and drink frozen daiquiris and gorge on doberge cake. We spent the entire day in slippers and pajamas in front of the TV.
OK, so I'm not feeling my usual rowdy self, but I have to admit, I'm a little burned out. I really need to get out of town, but that seems to fall way down on my list of necessities these days. Husband and kids are coming before me these days. So, I've shed some selfishness along the way. That's a good thing, isn't it?
But to top it all off, I'm watching someone I care for greatly take a nose dive. She is so much like me in many ways, though at first glance you would say she's the exact opposite. But we share the same type of spirit, except she doesn't have the anchor I have in my family. And although she is slightly more intelligent (or more socialized at any rate) than I am, she is falling rapidly to the effects of the party lifestyle. Her birthday is just a few days before mine, and it is almost like tracking my progress had I made different decisions by watching her life.
She's bitter and without hope. She's searching in all the wroong places for what she so desparately needs. She's practically floundering in a sea of uncertainty, and nothing anyone says will make a single dent in that perfectly constructed shell she hides behind.
I realize that could have very well been me, had I not made the right decision some years back. Write of the devil, and in he walks in. I don't think I would have made it this far in one piece without my man. I still don't believe in the one man/one woman myth, but having someone to balance you out is essential to your mental/emotional/ and ultimately physical health.
Especially for us Geminis. ;)
Well, anyway, now that my man is home. I have to be going. Gotta take care of my rock.
